OKAY GOSH.
I thought this kind of stuff only happens in drama but seriously.. SHYT happens in secondary school as well :o
Seriously, there's drama after drama.. If I learnt something, it would be, first impressions don't count. AT DAMN FREAKING ALL.
That girl whom I thought "act cool", was actually rather sweet :/ but she kind of went thru 29075841457128365 changes so now I'm not sure about her character or personality.. :/
So, the thing here is kay, Don't judge others. You don't know a freaking thing about their life! I feel like crying already. Like giving up, literally. Like hurling myself over a bridge. But I won't, cuz I'm just a freaking coward, I wonder how I'm even gonna survive sec sch -.- No surprise I'm drowning myself in a sea of books.
I swear I have no one I can relate to 100% in my class okay? There are a few who I'm close to but.. they just don't get some things. Primary school friends, now I know I can trust them. Sometimes I feel like I'm annoyingly anti-social but IDC. Don't think I'm ever gonna smile.. hmmph :/ (annoying thought @ back of head: Infinite - Can U Smile) GO AWAY ANNOYING BRAIN VOICE.
Okay lol. There you have it I'm retarded and weird lalalala ^^ People in secondary school... They just look at things you have in common. She likes 1D, you like Kpop, no way you people are becoming BFFs like that you know? I'm like, get a life.
My best friends include someone who listens to artistes most people wouldn't even have heard of :') Another one is just so innocent and kind ^^
Bringing us to another topic. STUDYING. Mine is actually a very good girls school here in SG. But, you'd be shocked at the number of people who have a don't care attitude or just can't be bothered. I don't know about you, but I am very very shocked and extremely disturbed. Once I did my Maths homework kay, and the 2 other people in my group were like: WOAH! You actually did it?! And I'm like yes..? I was surprised they didn't do it okay. The cher had already lectured us a few times before cuz got alot of people never do their work cuz of whatever reasons. And I get comments from people saying I'm a studyholic. You know after a while, I actually feel hurt. It's like typical high school drama and I became a nerd or sth -.-" whatthehell You don't want study why did you come to school? At least, don't comment about other people can? Arghhh. Just cause I'm not those type of people who cut themselves when they're depressed doesn't mean I'm not upset and sensitive! I just try to avoid unnecessary attention and keep my feelings to myself. Which is why very very few people know about this blog. Like, 5?
I have a history test tomorrow and I hope to continue my revision again. Just took off some time to get these negative thoughts outta my head. Lesson learnt: Please stop judging.
People don't know me. Why I study so hard? Basically, I just want my grades to be good. If not I'll also be letting my parents down, and I'm not like a very talented person (?) so yea..I try to ensure at least my grades are good. I mean, all those rich people, friendly, talented people feel insecure, whattheheck am I supposed to feel?! If YOU are cutting yourself, what about me? Which is why I don't find myself being suicidal (at times) a too troubling thing.
If people try to come to school the next day and be like Are you okay? I'm gonna slap their faces, friend or not, genuine empathy or not. I might sound arrogant but seriously, I don't like ever talk to anyone about my emotions. Let's leave it that way. If your truly my friend, then you'll know..
Listening to emo song after another now :L
Jonghyun - So Goodbye (City Hunter OST)
Infinite - Only Tears
U-Kiss - Someday
Ailee - Heaven
ARGHHHHHHHHH :( Just wanna get rid of all these feelings and hurt inside my heart. Only if I could bottle it all up and burn it...
This post shall be in light blue. for emo-ness and sadness.
To ALL the people in the world, sad,depressed,suffering;
STAY STRONG <3 And, no matter what happens, never ever give up.
Cuz I know there are thousands of people who are suffering way more than anyone knows..
Not like those idiots in school who take everything and make a big drama out of it. Sometimes seriously can't stand them.
And WHAAAAAT?! You're fat? Your goddamn kidding me okay. You are perfectly alright! And there are other people who are overweight but don't go around obsessing. And then you tell me you're on a diet? PLEASE. rot in hell.
I know my post must have offended so many people but, sorry. Be angry at me all you want but it's just my opinion. And just don't anyhow assume that person/people is you and create a scene and hate on me in school. Thanks. Still sounding arrogant but, your choice. To believe me or your imagination ?
Thanks for reading.
And hopefully, understanding.
Life isn't fair after all right? Let's just keep trying.
~Till next time. Bye
No comments:
Post a Comment